Twenty years ago, I first heard the words pulmonary hypertension. An emergency CT scan sent me to the hospital. I was in congestive heart failure and had been for months. After many tests, I received my pulmonary hypertension diagnosis three days later. Finally, after feeling unwell for a few years and not sure what was wrong, I had a diagnosis. While trying to understand pulmonary hypertension, I was told I needed a double lung and heart transplant but wouldn't survive.
Thankfully a relatively new drug was on the market, and over time my enlarged heart returned to normal, the pressure on my heart eased, and I could breathe a little better. There was no long-term data on the drug, and they didn't think it would reverse the damage in the way it had for me.
Over the next 20 years, I have gone through many other treatments. I have had my ups and downs and can attest that 'some days are diamonds, and some days are stones, but I am still here. I still breathe, I still cry, and I still laugh. Since that fateful day 20 years ago, I have watched both of my girls graduate high school, have celebrated 27 years of marriage with my high school sweetheart, and will soon become a grandmother.
It wasn't easy to get here, however. I know the extra burden placed on my family and close friends who have faced this challenge with me, taking on responsibilities and stress that many others will never know. I was sick and miserable for many years, grieving for what I missed, such as pushing my kids in a stroller and being the caregiver of my children. My girls have been my caregiver longer than I have been theirs. Underneath it all, however, I remain grateful to be alive and surrounded and supported by strong people who I know will always be there and give me a reason to keep fighting.
I am thankful for each breath that lets me be a mother, daughter, wife and friend to such amazing people. I am thankful that 20 years after my diagnosis, I can look forward to the future.
Please take a moment today to appreciate your life. Appreciate the small successes and the people in your life. Most of all, try to smile at least once daily, even if today sucks. Smile just because you can.